O Father, Who are you?

O Father, Who are you?

Background 1: I have been married for a while now & we have decided not have kids.
Background 2: India, where I belong, has the 2nd largest population in the world

Years after we took that decision of not having any kids, I still ponder if we took the right decision. Largely because I look around myself and everyone keeps producing kids, irrespective of their financial, social or physical state. There's just nothing that can make people stop producing kids. Most people, at least in India, are going to great lengths & pains to have kids. Marriages are broken; relationships are made based on the abilities to produce kids.

This addiction, obsession to produce kids had been baffling me. I know the usual answers - circle of life, kids are sweet, innocent, it's natural, children complete us, we need children to carry on the legacy, so on and so forth. All true answers but when this producing kids business takes epidemic proportions like it has in India and despite all odds against most people who are producing these kids, It does make me wonder that what's going on that I haven't caught on.

Then recently, my wife decided to take on the responsibility of teaching the poor children of nearby slums. I used to observe them in my space with caution & fear, almost as if they were this alien race that will take over my existence if I wasn't too careful.

And one fine day, my wife had to be somewhere else and I was faced with the situation I had feared all along - Interacting directly with the children, the kids, the species that my fellow countrymen were unwittingly producing away to glory without perhaps realizing the consequences. My wife is very serious about her commitments and I knew I would have to stand in as the teacher the days she is not available, because the kids have to be taught.

I prepared myself mentally for complete surrender, as this had to be a far superior and powerful race if they can have the entire nation hypnotized to perform one function - to produce more of them. I mean who am I to withstand such force? Scared, vulnerable, I started the class....and then something happened....

As the class progressed, instead of weak, meek surrender that I was expecting myself to do, I felt a surge of power...a power I had never experienced before...Though a little nervous at this turn of events, I liked how it felt and I wanted more...

So, now I started looking forward to times my wife would be gone so that I can take this class with the "Kids". Teaching them math, English, Painting....all subjects I hated attending in school. What was happening to me? Why am I drawn to an activity which would otherwise bore me to death? And then it all came....all the answers I was seeking...

In between taking the math class, I told a kid to not talk to his fellow students in a particular way and he listened. Then I asked a kid not to yawn in the class and she listened. Then I asked the whole bunch to sing national anthem before starting the class and they started doing it religiously.

The rush of power I had over these kids was unimaginable. It was like playing GOD. I realized that if I wish I could mould these kids the way I wanted, just like the screenplays of my films. This was ultimate power - the rush one gets to see another human being live a life YOU have designed for him. Even if it lasts a short while till the kid grows up. This power could be addictive.

And this, it dawned on me was the cause of mindless production of this product. Supply is far greater than the demand which is far greater then the need. And all this because this power to play God is a drug that we are all addicted to. The scariest part - we don't know this and we never will. I can already see everyone rubbishing this article as the weirdest theory ever.

This race - The kids, are much more powerful than I thought. First they make us believe - I love kids, they are so sweet, innocent, I want one of them. Then once we have them, the responsibilities, the pain, the suffering is numbed by this drug -power to play GOD. Then as the kids grow up, this drug is slowly taken away, we feel the withdrawal symptoms and just before we can wake up to the reality, a new drug is introduced - love.

This is the stage where the power balance starts shifting but its done so gradually that we don’t feel it till one day we find ourselves asking permission to enter their rooms, requesting them five minutes to have a chat, begging them to accompany us to a family function and then we know the take over is complete when we actually land up funding their flight to the next destination they wish to conquer. All this, while still high on the love drug.

If this theory that I have stumbled upon is true and I believe it is, then it would explain higher population in countries where a common man feels more helpless, powerless then in countries where a common man is more empowered. The drug - power to play God is easy to access and administer and almost everyone can have it and even if for a short while, and even though that drug only works within the confines of your space and family, it does make you feel...well...just like GOD.

Coming back to our decision of not having any kids - well, for now I have chosen to stay away from this drug, tomorrow is another day.


  1. Amit! Power?! Well, I suppose it may br true for some. However, I do not think that your experience and the feeling of the rush of being able to control others is why people have children. There are many years to traverse before a child can be controlled in that way (if that control is anything but illusion) and early on it is s/he that controls the parent through a driving, literally crying need.

    A significant question for reflection might be--why is it that "use of power" came forth, rather than collaboration, curiosity, sacrifice, enthusiasm, fulfillment, compassion, frustration ... or any of a myriad other reactions.

    Provocative post! Thx.

  2. that's quite a unique theory. Interesting nevertheless. I do tend to agree with you mostly. Women in India especially covet children as they feel they can wield power over someone atleast in this lifetime. What a misconception !!


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